Why Owning Your Power in Business Feels Hard (and How to Shift It)
Mar 10, 2025If you're not selfish, you can never be selfless.
Read that again.
If you're trying to be selfless without passing through the stage of selfishness, you're not being generous. You're being a martyr.
But why is it so hard to be "selfish" even when we know it's necessary? Why does owning our power feel like we're committing some cardinal sin?
I was on a call with a client yesterday. She's an utterly brilliant woman. Running a business that's changing lives. But she's terrified to raise her prices, even though she's working herself into the ground.
"I just don't want people to think I'm greedy," she said.
But as we dug deeper, we found the real fear:
"If I fully own my power, people might leave me."
There it is. The core wound that keeps so many of us playing small.
The Abandonment Hook
Let's talk about what's really happening when you start owning your power.
Your nervous system, which was programmed in childhood, goes into full-blown panic mode.
Because for most of us, our early experiences taught us that our survival depended on others' approval. It's not just in your head – it's in your body.
Think about it. When you were little and you defied your parents, what happened? Maybe you got punished. Maybe the energy in the room changed. Maybe you were literally abandoned in some way.
Your young brain registered: Power = Danger. Power = Rejection. Power = Alone.
So now, decades later, when you're about to send that email asking for more money, or set that boundary with your mother, or speak that truth in the meeting – your body literally thinks you might die.
I'm not exaggerating. Your nervous system doesn't distinguish between social rejection and physical danger. To your primitive brain, being cast out of the tribe was a death sentence.
People Pleasing as Survival
This is why people pleasing isn't just an annoying habit. It was your brilliant survival strategy.
By abandoning yourself first, you protected yourself from others abandoning you. Genius, really.
But that strategy that kept you safe as a child is now keeping you stuck as an adult.
It's keeping you from raising your prices.
From speaking your truth.
From taking up space.
From shining too bright.
I had a woman in one of my programs who was so terrified of using her voice that she would physically shake when asked to speak in a group. After we did some nervous system work around her childhood, she revealed that whenever she'd expressed herself freely as a girl, her father would mock her or shame her.
No wonder her body associated using her voice with danger.
Breaking the Pattern
Here's what I want you to understand: This isn't about "getting over it" or "pushing through the fear."
Your body is doing exactly what it was programmed to do. The path forward isn't to fight your nervous system – it's to rewire it.
Start with compassion. Notice where the fear lives in your body when you think about owning your power. That contraction, that tightness – it's not your enemy. It's the part of you that's been trying to keep you safe all these years.
Place a hand there. Breathe into it. Say thank you.
Then gently remind this part: "I'm not a child anymore. I can handle disappointment. I can handle someone being upset with me. I can handle being alone."
Because you can.
The moment you realize that the worst that can happen is someone being upset with you – and that you will survive that – everything changes.
Your power isn't dangerous. Your light isn't too bright. Your voice isn't too much.
The only thing standing between you and your sovereignty is the outdated belief that you need everyone's approval to survive.
You don't.
So what would you do differently if you truly believed that?
How would you show up if abandonment wasn't the hook keeping you small?
Start there. Start with the smallest act of sovereignty. The tiniest boundary. The whispered "no."
Your nervous system needs to experience that you can own your power AND survive.
That's how we break the pattern. That's how we move through the "selfish" phase and into true sovereignty.
One breath, one boundary, one brave act at a time.
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About Leandra Rose
Leandra Rose is a Master Guide for spiritual visionaries & entrepreneurs, blending over a decade of expertise in somatic healing, nervous system mastery, and purpose-driven mentorship. Her signature approach has helped thousands break free from limiting patterns, heal deep emotional imprints, and align their lives with their soul’s mission.
Through Leandra’s programs, leaders unlock authentic self-expression, embody their spiritual gifts, and cultivate sovereign success that is both purposeful and abundant. With her unique ability to merge intuition and strategy, Leandra empowers you to step boldly into your divine calling and manifest the impactful, prosperous life you’re here to create.
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